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May. 3rd, 2006 @ 12:17 am (no subject)
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Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: Red Hot Chili Peppers - "C'mon Girl"
This is something I wrote earlier today, I got the idea for it yesterday. It's of a relatively dark topic but I really like the way I found to convey it. Not in any way my best but I still like the idea...now lets see if I did the little link thingy right ^.^



To the Block

Her arms into tools, into blades, into death

He cuts into the skin
The fire of the pain flows like a stream

To the wires
Grip is lost on reality

To the frame
Cracking connection to self

To the black
Clean and smooth

Drowning in the red sea…

5-2-06
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TURTLES!
metalfoxfire:
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From:viciouswolfie
Date:May 3rd, 2006 04:47 am (UTC)
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For being so short, it's very poignant. I think it's very good, probably could have been longer, but then some of the best poems are only a few lines long. I really liked some of the elements you used, like the repetition and metaphors.

Especially the first few lines. They definitely struck me the most.

I liked it, and I think you should write more. :)
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From:metalfoxfire
Date:May 3rd, 2006 04:54 am (UTC)
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Thank you much ^.^ I finished it after my brain shutdown before ;) I salvaged it the best I could ^.^